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Even if young men were acceptable suitors, girls referred to them formally and obliquely: "The last week I received the unexpected intelligence of the arrival of a friend in Boston," Sarah Ripley wrote in her diary of the young man to whom she had been engaged for years and whom she would shortly marry. Smith "Mother. Indeed, while hostility and criticism of other women were so rare as to seem almost tabooed, young women permitted themselves to express a great deal of' hostility toward peer-group men. In recent years such hypotheses have been subjected to criticism both from within and without the psychological professions. ON the contrary, this sample of families indicates that the normal relationship between mother and daughter was on of sympathy and understanding. Far from it; they sought marriage arid domesticity. Nelly Custis Lewis's love for and dependence on Elizabeth Bordley Gibson only increased after her marriage. She marked the anniversary of Rachel's death each year in her diary, contrasting her faithfulness with that of Rachel's husband who had soon remarried. Ostensibly they went to receive assistance in the practical preparations for their new home - sewing and quilting a trousseau and linen - but of equal importance, they appear to have gained emotional support and reassurance. Love is spiritual, only passion is sexual. They are found throughout the letters of the thirty-five families studied. An intriguing and almost alien form of human relationship, they flourished in a different social structure and amidst different sexual norms. At some point in adolescence, the young girl began to move outside the matrix of her mother's support group to develop a network of her own. Within such a world of emotional richness and complexity devotion to arid love of other women became a possible and socially accepted form of human interaction. Mary's trips away from Boston also thrust Sarah into periods of anguished depression.
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